Lessons on Forgiveness: What Does the Bible Say?
Think of a time when you've been hurt by someone. Maybe a friend said something hurtful, or someone didn't keep a promise — it can easily feel like a betrayal. But the Bible has a lot to say about how we should deal with these negative feelings and how to move forward. Forgiveness isn't always easy, but it is critical for our spiritual well-being. Let's look at some scriptural lessons on forgiveness and understand what the Bible teaches us about the benefits of forgiveness for others (and even ourselves).
What is Biblical Forgiveness?
Forgiveness, according to the Bible, is the act of pardoning others as God has pardoned us. It means releasing someone from the debt of their wrongdoing, without holding it against them. True forgiveness reflects God’s mercy — freely given, not earned — and is a choice to let go of our own resentment, even when it's difficult.
Colossians 3:13 says, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
This verse tells us a few important action steps for forgiveness:
Bear with each other: This means being patient with each other. It may also mean carrying the relational weight for a time, bearing each other’s burdens.
Forgive if you have a grievance: A grievance is often a valid complaint or a justified cause to be upset. Even when we have a good reason, we are instructed to forgive.
Forgive as the lord forgave you: We are reminded of God's forgiveness towards us. This should be our example when forgiving others.
The most crucial thing to remember about forgiveness is that scriptures like Matthew 6:15 and Mark 11:25 tell us that when we forgive others, we are forgiven for our own faults and failures. And when we fail to forgive, God will not forgive our trespasses. That’s how important our forgiveness is to Jesus!
Modeling God’s Forgiveness
So, how does God forgive us? Let’s look at Psalm 103:10-14:
“He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. ”
According to this verse, God’s forgiveness means:
His interactions with us are not colored by our wrongdoing.
Our flaws are completely removed and far away from his opinion of us.
His love is bigger, greater, and stronger than our wrongs.
He considers how we came to be this way and has compassion.
Forgiving someone who hurt us doesn't mean we automatically forget what happened. It means that we don’t allow their flaws to diminish our love for them. It means we consider that person’s experiences and act in compassion toward them. Most of all, it means that we hold back our rightful judgement against the person who wronged us — for both their benefit and ours.
Forgiving People Who Hurt Others
Sometimes we develop poor opinions of people when they’ve never done anything directly to us. Maybe we see or hear about how they’ve hurt others, and this changes our view of them. While it's important to feel empathy for those who have been hurt, the Bible also teaches us about forgiveness in these situations.
Luke 6:37 says, “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.” When we are a third-party witness to a wrongdoing and we decide to think poorly of the wrongdoer, we’re essentially stepping into the position of judgement. And Matt 7:1-2 explains that we will be judged by the same standard by which we are judging others.
This scripture reminds us that God is the ultimate judge, and it's not our job to punish others. Instead, we can trust that God will handle things. We can also focus on showing kindness and compassion to those who have been hurt and supporting them in their healing process. We might not be the ones who were directly harmed, but we can still pray for both the person who was hurt and the person who did the hurting. We can ask God to bring healing and change.
Forgiving Ourselves
Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is ourselves. We all make mistakes. We might do things we regret or say things we wish we could take back. These feelings of guilt and shame can weigh us down in our relationships, in our spiritual walk, and in our lives overall.
But scripture tells us that God is always ready to forgive us when we are truly repentant for what we've done. 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
This means that when we admit our mistakes to God and ask for forgiveness, he will absolutely forgive us. And we need to learn to forgive ourselves too. Holding onto guilt can be like carrying a heavy weight. Just like forgiving others frees us, forgiving ourselves allows us to move forward and learn from our mistakes.
Here are some ways to forgive yourself:
Admit you made a mistake: It's okay to not be perfect.
Tell God about your regret (and to anyone you might have hurt): Telling someone you're sorry can be a big step.
Believe that God has forgiven you: Trust what the Bible says!
Learn from your mistake: What can you do differently next time?
Be kind and patient with yourself: Just like we should be kind to others who have done wrong, we need to be kind to ourselves too.
Forgiveness Takes Practice — So, Start Today
While God gives his forgiveness to us freely, it isn’t always easy for us to forgive others ourselves. It might take time, and there may be times when we must choose to forgive again and again, just like Jesus instructed his disciples in Matthew 18:21-22. But we must remember that it's an essential thing to do. It brings peace to our hearts, allows us to have better relationships with others and with God, and it brings about God’s forgiveness for us! Just like any skill, the more we practice forgiveness, the better we become at it.
So, let's try our best to be kind, compassionate, and forgiving, remembering all that God has done for us.